- George Carlin (Audio Clips)
- Religion
- GOD
- Angels
- Abortion
- Conservatives
- Delusions
- More (audio)
- We Like War (video)
- More (video)
- Good-natured Jokes on religion
My #1 Darwin Award, from my own experiences as a firefighter and paramedic, goes to the lady who had her toddler drink nail polish remover as a "remedy" to the nail polish the child had just drank!
Whether you like the controversial animated series South Park or not is a matter of taste. But there are a few episodes I highly recommend in which organized religion is satirized with biting accuracy.
Episode 3-11: Starvin’ Marvin in Space
Don't miss this one! It is truly a classic! Pat Robertson and his 700 Club, along with missionaries in general, take a (well-deserved) beating!
Starvin' Marvin finds an alien ship and begins searching out a new home for his people. The government interrogates the boys to find out about Marvin and direct them to Sally Struthers. Marvin stops in South Park to pick up the boys and take them to the planet Marklar. The Marklarians are willing to let the Ethiopians relocate to their world and the Christian channel does all they can to stop them. --Comedy Central
Episode 4-10: Do the Handicapped go to Hell?
The boys attend church and the priest puts the fear of hell in them. They must go to Sunday school and learn that they must confess their sins. The boys are worried about Timmy, after all, he can only say his name. Feeling the need to confess their sins they catch the priest in a compromising position and decide to save themselves. --Comedy Central
Episode 4-11: Probably
Cartman preaches and the children begin plans to build a church. Satan spends the night with Saddam. Kenny wasn't killed in the previous episode, but the bus that ran him over stops in Mexico, where Kenny is found. Satan, in his time of crisis turns to God for advice. Cartman is discovered as a fraud and is sent to Mexico for punishment. --Comedy Central
Episode 1-08: Damien
See the "final battle" between Jesus & Satan! This is hilarious!
Eric is handing out invitations to his birthday party at school. Mr. Garrison informs them all that there is a new student joining the class. Announcing to all that he is Damien, the son of Satan. Even as Damien demonstrates his demonic powers the children are more loathsome than impressed. --Comedy Central
Episode 3-16: Are you there God? It’s me, Jesus.
Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God. --Comedy Central
Episode 3-09: Jewbilee
Kyle invites Kenny to join him at Jewbilee, a Boy Scout-like gathering for Jewish kids. His parents are going to attend Mr. Mackey's party. At camp, Ike is sent to join the little group called "Squirts." Kyle and Kenny, join the scouts, where they concentrate on soap sculptures. This art is key to the Jewish elders celebration of Moses however, Moses identifies Kenny as not being Jewish and Kenny is banished from the camp. --Comedy Central
Multimedia clips to 3-09
Episode 3-02: Spontaneous Combustion
Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts. --Comedy Central
Episode 3-15: Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics
Mr. Hankey introduces 10 musical segments highlighting songs the on the CD "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics." The boys and all of the other South Park characters sing their own songs for the Holidays and realize that Christmas is all about the presents. --Comedy Central
Multimedia clips to 3-15
Episode 4-17: A Very Crappy Christmas
A companion to episode 3-15
Kyle and Ike anxiously await Mr. Hankey. When he doesn't show, Kyle calls the others for a late night emergency meeting. They find Mr. Hankey living with his alcoholic wife and their three little nuggets. He tells them that no one is into Christmas. They all decide to try and spread some Christmas cheer. Their effort fails and the boys decide to create an animated special of their own. Featuring Jesus, Santa Claus and themselves. --Comedy Central
Multimedia clips to 4-17
Episode 5-04: Super Best Friends
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince Kyle, Kenny and Cartman that they've been brainwashed... but will he get to them in time? Jesus has a few tricks up his sleeve! Super Best Friends to the rescue!
Multimedia clips to 5-04
Episode 5-09: Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants
Who needs Special Ops when you have Cartman's fat ass on your side? After accidentally being sent to Afghanistan, Cartman (in a tribute to WWII-era Loony Toons) and the boys take on Osama and the Taliban learning that they have a lot more in common with the Afghani children than they ever realized. Go America!
Multimedia clips to 5-09Go Broncos!
((( Select Multimedia Files )))
Christian Missionary threatens Marklars with Hellfire: Yes thats nice thank you for stopping by...
Christian Missionary to starving Ethiopian school children: C'mon! Remember reading bible plus accepting Jesus equals food!
After the "food" Comment above: Starvin Marvin's people reading the bible (GIF Still Shot)
Mr. Garrison: And so children... that's why Hare Krishna's are totally gay
The 600 Club needs money (Quick Time Video)
Question for Sister Ann: Where do handicapped people go when they die?
So we won't go to hell as long as we eat crackers?
Cannibals for Jesus: So Jesus turned himself into crackers and told us to eat him...
But the guy said that if I don't eat crackers and confess my sins...
Stan & Cartman: Okay you'd better baptise Kyle some more
The Preacher: So abandon all hope and yada yada yada
Cartman: Let us get back to the church!
Cartman: God bitchslapped him right to the firey depths of Hell!
Cartman: Today is another day! And it's another dollar the Lord needs from you!
Cartman: God is telling me that you have bad eyesight!
Cartman: Sister Anne is a blasphemer!
Cartman: No comeback! You face everlasting damnation!
You mean this whole thing was just a way to make ten million dollars?
Mr. Garrison: Yeah yeah yeah... we've heard that crap for about 2,000 years now... (From Episode 3-16)
Michael Buffer introduces Jesus: In the blue corner... in the white trunks...weighing a mere 140 lbs....
Michael Buffer introduces Satan: And in the very very black corner.... wearing the very very black trunks...
Michael Buffer: Ladies and Gentlemen, lets get ready to rumble!!!
Cartman on Damien: Here comes the unholy butthole now
Jesus Vs. Satan The Boxing Match (Quick Time Video)
Damien wrecks the cafeteria (Quick Time Video)
The Preacher & Mr. Garrison: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away... (From Episode 3-02)
The Preacher: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus are you? (From Episode 3-02)
Stan & Kyle: Oh, well, Bible, Wrath of Khan, what's the difference? (From Episode 3-02)
Stan, Kyle & Cartman: You're too fat to be Jesus. Oh, and like you're going to do it, Jew!
Stan, Kyle & Cartman: We have to leave you up there until you die... (From Episode 3-02)
Cartman & Kyle: Look fatass, after you die and get resurrected... (From Episode 3-02)
My Chess website on the Belgrade Gambit
Smite
Thee!: You are Zeus, king of the gods. Non-believers threaten your
temple. Can you destroy them and give your believers the power to help
you?
Fun With Jesus: Jesus Dressup!